maths' really not meant for me...

Went to work yesterday with Jasmine, Sharlene, Freedy, Apinum and Debbie yesterday. The job scope is easy- each ofus to just bring half a class around an excursion. But the whole process is horrendous! At least for me...

Had to bring the students around a Maths trail. Maths!!!! I haven't been touching on it since my Sec 4 years, not to mention that I totally messed up my Maths since Sec 1, got a F9 during my Prelims and barely passed with a C6 during my actual Os- all thanks to a 6 day crash course given by my elder sis before the exam.

One of the excursion station was a killer for me, couldn't grasp the concept and logic behind it at all. Solution? I'll skip the station without any hesitation. How? "Student, this station will be a bit more time consuming. Let's go and complete other stations first before we come back to this ok?"

I was shoted at one of the station at a money changing booth. The question was to find out the existing exchange rate of Singapore currency to US currency. The amount given was S$400. I gave a formulae to the students. The answer they got out from my formulae? 20+K! To my horror I turned to Veronica for help. She mumbled some stuffs to me. So I decided to go back and pretended I knew it all infront of my students and told them that I made a 'careless' mistake and once again gave them another formulae. They obeyed blindly and started counting................... "Teacher.... same answer... 20+K!". Whatever courage and confidence that was left within me melted from that point onwards....

Lastly, I introduced myself a fair bit to the class and ask them what else they wanna know about me. The reply: "Teacher teacher... why you so chubby?"
Somebody please come to my house now and kill me!

Think the only job option most suitable for me is to return back to my post as Elmo in Sesame Street. That is where I belong... *Gideon is obviously suffering from mild level of depression and disillusion now...

Just went thru a sleepy and crazy day

Sleepy:

Super tired today. Events that led up to my tiredness:

1) Friday's stay-over at Matthias' house
(He's supposed to wax my hair for Mother's Day Service, but my hair too long never cut and too thick, it almost looked like curry puff till I had to re-wash my hair and rush down to Nexus)
2) Woke up early on Saturday
(Since Matthias had usher's duty and I had to shepherd Bruce)
3) Slept late on Saturday's night
(Had to plan my week and meeting agendas)
4) Woke up early on Sunday's morning
(To meet members' parents who are visiting Mandarin Service at Cineleisure K-Box)

(1)+(2)+(3)+(4)= Super sleepy GI GI NG!

Felt real bad during meeting and especially since we had Tonje from Hope Follo, Norway joining us in meeting. Couldn't answer her questions since my mind was drifting off all the time and couldn't catch her Norwegian's accented English well. Secretly whispered to Eelee for help when my poor english comprehension failed me miserably in understanding our foreign friend. She told me to remain smiling if I grasp nothing out of the conversation. What a helpful suggestion...

Crazy:

Sharlene and Jasmine are crazy! Totally freak me out when they combined efforts in 'harressing' Freedy and me in MSN. Either they are borned with the innate ability to drive people go gaga or they are a true product of Dennis in irritating innocent and law-abiding citizens like me.

No worries, they are really nice people, just don't stay too near them when it's full moon night, they can turn crazy and bite you! Haha...

Anyway thanks to Jasmine for being my job-searcher! Let's hope that I can get decent and cool deals for tuitioning. Thanks for introducing me to another job in bringing children out for excursion etc. Let's hope that I won't strangle those angel-looking beings half-way through the trip...

Encounter Day 12

Though millions are bending God's ear in prayer, He listens to each individually.

God directs single-minded attention toward our praise, our requests, and our concerns.

Isn't this so cool and wonderful?

What have I done to deserve all these? Yes I did many things... Things that go against and hurts my Daddy's heart. Really can't imagine it if God's grace is in absence, so scary!~

Encounter's Devotional Guide has really been helpful in my personal walk with God. If you haven't start on it, you don't know what you're missing out man! Don't just do it religiously; use the guide with a desire in seeking God and to enter deeply in His presence. God won't reject such a sincere cry from His children.

Woke up early yesterday and head for church office with Freedy to settle some camp affairs and listen to sermon etc. The day seemed to started out absolutely cool for me till I received a call from Daniel saying the camp's stage may not be available! Felt like banging my head straight to the window panel beside me in bus 76.

Anyway we really prayed very hard during the camp meeting and even mobilised Shirley and the rest to pray along with us. Mr Ng called early this morning while I was still sleeping. Had to warm up my throat a little and make a little prayer before I fetch the phone.

The conversation was such a miracle! First time that I had such a smooth and light-hearted conversation with him. Conclusion for the stage's fate will be out on 22th May. Will be keeping my finger crossed and pray like never before for it...

Thanks Eelee for your sms yesterday night. Came in timely and really encouraged me alot. Thanks Daniel too for constantly supporting me in this camp and you never fails to encourage me when I needed it the most.

No worries guys! I am so convinced that God is going a great work in this camp. Not just for the congregation but for me personally too! Wanna do some advertisement here.

Taken from Debbie's blog:

sign up soon for bring it on! its a gd chance that ya unit or cg can come together to perform smth! which will create ownership for ya grp too. hahaa.. email: bring.it.on.06@gmail.com ya team members, from wat cg, wat ya team going to perform. prizes to be won!!

1st: $100 adidas voucher
2nd: $70 NYDC voucher
3rd: $50 cafe cartel voucher

Feeling annoyed that everyone around you knows their exact spiritual giftings? Fret no more! This coming camp can be your answer! There will be a workshop deoted entirely on helping you to find out what are spiritual giftings and and what are the giftings you are uniquely wired to have!

Felt that past camp food sucks? Tell you something, this camp's breakfast is gonna be great in buffet style. We've added a little twist of surprise for your meal at the endo f the camp too.

Our games' committee had promised to deliver us fantastic games and this cmap will be the first time since the past few camps that we are having crazy and happening NIGHT GAMES!

Teachings on Spirit-filled Church series. How can you actually missed them out?!?!?! Life filled and empowered by the Holy Spirit is totally cool and awesome! Furthermore we're gonna have two powerful godly and beautiful sister to preach the Word to us in this camp! (Ok I seriously deserve a treat from these two person).

Praise and worship sessions promised to be an entirely different experience, giving you an individualised enchanting spiritual encounter with God!

After all that I've said, how can you still not come for camp?
Early registration ends this coming Saturday. 90 bucks for a life's transformation opportunity- Ponder no more!

Ok today I'll be having Men Conference in just about 8 hours later. Gotta sleep early.

Suddenly yearning for Katong Laksa now... Sinful!

Listening: Hillsong United- Came to the rescue

Birthdaysssssss

Just had a two birthday celebrations for people yesterday.

One's for Siewluan (Luannie). Went to K-Box at Marina Square with her. We tried to have creative affirmations by dedicating specific songs to her. Apparently this intention failed when we have people like Yihui who sang M2M's "Don't say you love me"... The team and I bought a necklace and a bouquet of flowers for her... Hope she'll really like it. (Actually even if she don't like it she must still wear it! *Evil laughter from Gideon)

Want take this time to affirm Siewluan for her consistency in her walk with God and her dedication to her people. One very obvious strength of her is her character of stability; her ability to face trying situations with great calmness and objectivity. Way to go sister! Really seen how you've grown since you joined Y-Hope when you were Sec 1/2??? Believe that God will bring you to a much further height!

Last evening was also a time where I celebrated Shirls' birthday with the rest of the RDMM team plus special appearance of Tamar. Really had a great time of eating at the Teochew Porridge Buffet ($4). Yes, Dennis was as irritating to me as ever before! Shuzhen was no kind character too, kept disturbing Sharlene! Now I see Shuz' true colour... Hehe... Daniel was busy trying to poison everyone else's dessert by putting in cockles, veggie and peanuts mixed in our dessert bowl while we are away. How malicious!!!! Shirley, she remained as the kind (only) soul smiling helplessly at the 'rubbishity' of our behaviour. Hai!~ Guess this is what exactly that make this team unique. But I must say that though sometimes... actually many times where some people in this team are really irritating(especially Mr Loh), I really do enjoy and appreciate this team alot!

Shirley has indeed been a strong and annointed leader. Her strengths are clearly seen through her leadership over the church, especially in the aspect of team-building. Agreed with what Eelee said, Shirley do really give each of us space to be ourselves and trust to allow us to reach our potential. She is gentle and humble, and remained extremely approachable despite of her busy lifestyle. Her constant passion and thirst for Jesus is amazing and her depth of knowledge and spiritual wisdom is incredible. Thanks for sharing with us your dreams and vision and be rest assured that we will follow and support you all the way. Reaching for 1000 and beyond- Building a global youth ministry!

my first vote in life

Just voted this morning.... Guess I'm one of the more 'kiasu' ones. Reached at 7.45am when the polling starts at 8am. I really hate the process of waiting, and I want to avoid wasting time in the waiting process. Not just me ok... There were a dozen of people there before me too, just wondering what time did the first person in line woke up at???

Wanna know which party I voted for??? Voting is secret remember? And I wouldn't want to publicly announce it here and have people from either party coming to my house to kill me for some reasons or another... (Gideon must be disillusioned enough to think that someone will even bother to come for his elmoic's life...)

Just had my last paper ended on Thursday. I'm just a joke... Woke up at 6am that morning to do my last chance mugging and went to school for the paper. To my horror the exam's venue was completely empty when I reached at 9am. To cut the story short, the paper was intended to be at 1pm!!!!! What a fool I can be! Stared aimlessly and wearily at the ceiling in my school library for the next few hours, with occasion kind-intended calls from Shirley and Freedy to release my boredom and anger with my own stupidity.

Was looking forward for the end of exams so that I can finally pace myself slower and starting getting things right in my life again... My room's in a mess! Then guess what?!?! I fell sick and fall victim to Mr Flu, Mrs Sore Throat and Mdm Fever... Well, others may see it as a misfortune, but I see it as a grace extension. Imagine I fall ill before my last paper... I pretty sure that God has sustained me from sickness throughout my exams period, given my lack of exercise and occasional unhealthy diet.... Fine, my 'more often than not' unhealthy diet... :(

Been going through the 40 Days Devotional Guide. Felt really refreshed and was reminded of many principles I have yet apply into my own walk with God. Really want to thirst for the presence of the Holy Spirit much more in my life. Holy Spirit is named the Comforter which also means Someone who walks alongside with me. What a joy and privillege to have the Great Counsellor walking side by side with me every moment of my life!

Yearning for You more and more, day by day!

~Current Favourite: Jesus take the wheel by Carrie Underwood.

high-strung easily? yes i am!

Taken from Pastor Ben's blog:
"Highly-strung people worry about details, can be emotional even nervous and often want to be in control. They tend to be on edge, over-sensitive, irritable and can jump at people."

How true can this be for me!

Had been floating aimlessly in the sea of exams and revision for the past few weeks. Now that exams are finally drawing to an end, time for me to loosen up a little bit more and starts setting things right in my life once again like a jigsaw puzzle.

Last month was a month that I spend more time with Matthias. Stayed over at his house a few nights and managed to watch SAW & SAW2 with him. Really liked the plot alot, especially the twist that comes at the end of the movie.

I've learned to enjoy my shepherding with my sheeps. Time spent with Sunny last Sunday at Toa Payoh eating sweeties & chilling out at Junction 8's Coffeebean, highly 'crushable' chat with Matt and Shawn at Delifrance, 'Chix Rice War' with Jon Tay, close-to-heart conversation with Freedy and so on...

By the way, quite a few people came to me asking about Jon Tay. Yes he is still doing totally cool in Christ. Just that his army vocation is demanding and thus we often see him missing in actions nowadays. He'll be back in action this Saturday thanks to voting = public holiday.

Had lunch and a short catch-up session with Dennis and Weiling in school today. Weiling was then a cedar sec's sister I served together with when I was a less than one-year-old believer in High School D. Years have gone and now she's already working as a web-designer and serves in the Adult ministry faithfully. Our ex-shepherd is getting married this month and both of us are really excited about it!

Besides all these, this year promised to be unique for me also because this is the first time that I'm eligible to vote. But please, don't come asking me who I'm going to vote for as I really don't know till now. No worries, will take time to think through about it. But I must say, politics are seriously unattractive to me, though I understand it's importance. Was a bit surprised to see that many are really anticipating for the election this time round. Jon Tay went to hear the talks held by Workers' Party, and I heard that Freedy & Dennis hope to go and attend such talks too. I think there are some issues within me to explain my sheer disinterest in such political matters...

Past few weeks had been a time where God spoke to me specifically on a few occasions. I feel that the next coming few months will be period that God wants to develop and grow me intensely. One of the challenge God gave me came in a short and simple question: "Do you want to love me wholeheartedly?". Indeed it's such a simple sentence, yet it contains such a profound and real challenge. It is easy to say that I want to love God whole-heartedly. It is easy to think about it too. But doing it? Doing it consistently? Doing it as it flows out naturally from my spiritual inner-being? I told God that I want to, but I don't know how to. I asked God to help me, teach me, and guide me to love Him wholeheartedly. A few areas for me to grow this coming few months. 1. Knowledge. 2. Prayer life. 3. Love for the Word. 4. Maintaining a child-like faith and hunger.

Truly excited for the next few months, planning to make regular visits to church office and watch sermon tapes and increase my readings too. Borders holds a high potential to be my next favourite hotspot. It's time too for me to do visitation to some of the care groups and to arrange meet-up sessions with some of my people. Time to intesify the progress towards June camp too.

Going for a interview next monday with Fei Yue for a chance to work with youths-at-risk who are identified by their schools. Coming months will also be helping out with Hope Center to conduct values-centered lessons in Sengkang Sec. So glad that my schoolmate Jason agreed without hesitation to conduct the class with me. I'm trying hard to increase my profile and experience in the social work fields. Praying hard to my Daddy that my results for this semester will be great so that I can apply for MCYS' scholarship.

Yes I know... my entry today seemed disorganised and unstructured... just some of my random thoughts. And yes, they're mainly anecdotes... good for me to recap my life and respond back to God in thanksgiving and praise.